Fear not ravenous, red-meat eating residents of Richardson, I am here to assist you in your quest for the perfect burger within the city limits. It was not easy and many, many burgers were consumed, but because I know what a valiant feat this is, I was up for the challenge! I went up and down many burger streets, pulling my hair out in anguish and even twisting my roots a bit; it was purdy. But finally I was able to narrow my selection down to the top two burgers in town!

After spending hours with focus groups, displaying graphs and pie charts with my finding, I had an epiphany! Most of us will fit into one of two categories. By determining which group you belong in, based on my brilliant moment of genius, you will discover which burger best suits your needs.

If you have a refined pallet and a hankering for homemade root beer, Del’s Charcoal Burgers is the place for you. Say for instance you are taking a lady friend out for a first date, the burgers at Del’s are scrumptious. They are just the right size, and the atmosphere is so kitschy it’s almost retro cool. Throw in the added quaintness of their famous root beer and splitting a float with your honey will definitely earn you a second date. (Pictured below)

However, I personally fall into the second category. These gluttonous folks are the ones who if they won the lottery, for instance, might fill a pool with guacamole and mayonnaise and backstroke through it in sheer ecstasy.

So, if you’re past your first date, already have your first few kids, and are comfortable undoing the first one or two buttons on your pants in front of your lucky meal companion, you cannot beat the Guacamole Burger at Burger Island. Actually, who am I kidding? I know better than to wear anything without an elastic waistband to Burger Island, because their patties are enormous! Literally fit for two people…if you’re fit that is. I can polish one off in 9 minutes flat, 11 if you include fries.

Either way, both of these eateries will sufficiently satisfy you for under $10 bucks. The only real decision to make is whether you want to just be full, or painfully stuffed.